If you think you’ve cut all strings, then think again. There are signs your ex is pretending it’s over with you. Grasp a real detachment from the past.
When you end a relationship, it can be tumultuous. These are always scary ones for me – when they become violent or break things. But there are other problems that may arise later, long after the break-up, even when the end of the union seemed to go smoothly.
You better watch your back. Some people can pretend for a long time.
Signs your ex is pretending it’s all over
The good news is, you can learn the signs that point toward lingering feelings from an ex-partner. They are usually subtle but sometimes can show up unexpectantly in loud ways.
Do not be fooled when it seems like the divorce went smoother than expected. It may not really be over in the mind of your ex. Study these signs and stay aware.
- Posting pictures and bragging
If your ex is posting lots of pictures of their new crush, then there is one of two reasons. Either they are completely and totally in love with their new mate, or they are trying to make you jealous.
You can usually tell when they leave snide comments under the pictures or they really go overboard with their posts. One statement that’s a clear indicator is this one, “I’ve never been this happy in my entire life.”
Hey, maybe they haven’t, but posting it on social media is saying there may still be feelings they’re trying to cover by fake happiness.
- Random friendliness
If you see your ex out in public alone, or you share children together, and they come to see them, you might notice extra friendliness. If you happen to comment on their happy demeanor, they will talk about how great life is going.
In truth, they are being extra friendly to you in hopes that you will see them as a different person, not the reason the relationship ended. Maybe they want you to think they’ve changed. Either way, they will pour on the charm.
- They will stare at you
Have you ever been in the same place as your ex-husband and turned to catch him staring at you? Well, you may have noticed. It’s a huge indicator that he still has feelings for you. Are these signs your ex is pretending to be over you? It could be, but when you catch them looking a little too long, their façade isn’t working.
- Mood swings
I noticed with my own ex-husband that he has mood swings. For a long time, after his new marriage, he seemed happy and we got along great as friends. But, when I kept making sure I was never alone with him, he became angry.
He started doing mean things that involved the children, and even refusing to enter my home when someone else was here. Over time, he will be nice again, hoping to come in from another angle. This is one way to tell they are not quite over you yet.
- They keep forgetting their things
For a long time after the breakup, your ex-wife may insist that she’s left something at your house. She pretends to forget about the object or clothing, but the truth is, she will always leave something behind as long as she gets away with it, and this is because she’s not over you.
Forgetting things is a way back into your life, and it can be seen as just an ordinary issue. Watch out for this tactic, it can last for a long time, allowing her to see into all aspects of your home and your relationships.
- They won’t let you get your things
On the other hand, sometimes an ex will not allow you to get all your things from their home. They will ignore your phone calls, texts, and even refuse to answer the door when you come knocking. It’s a form of control, the same control that probably made you leave.
If they do open their door, they will act like they don’t know where your things are, while they keep them hidden. They are pretending to be over you, but they definitely are not.
- They use friends as spies
If your girlfriend is not over you, she will use her friends as spies. Have you gotten any strange messages from her friends just ‘checking up on you to be kind’? Let’s face it, her friends are not your friends generally, in most cases.
They are spying on you so your ex can see if you’ve gotten over her. No, her friends are not concerned or worried about your wellbeing. They are hoping you are desperate and missing your ex, and this is why.
Are you picking up on these signs?
There are many signs your ex is pretending to be over you, and this is why you must keep your eyes open to those little indicators. Most of the time, this can be harmless, but in rare cases, an obsession of this caliber can turn violent.
Just be careful and understand what’s really going on between you and your ex. It’s best for you, your family, and especially if any children are involved.
If you’re struggling through a breakup or divorce, I wish you both peace and hope that true friendship can lead to happiness.
Sherrie Hurd, AA, first wrote this piece for Life Advancer
